Mama’s First Birthday in Heaven
I can’t let this day get away without telling you all that today is my dearest Mother’s birthday. She’d be 94 today.
I wrote a sort of imagined dialogue on her first birthday in Heaven.
I expect that this is a pitiful rendition of what it’s really like to leave the womb of this broken Earth and enter into Glory…
But I sure look forward to finding out.
I hope that in some way this brings comfort to the hearts of all of you who are missing a loved one today.
If only I could, with trembling hand and aching heart, I’d dial 777-4Heaven today to wish my Mother a happy birthday.
“I called to speak to my Mother, please.”
“She’s here. She’s been expecting you.”
Then… There she’d be; the most tender and soothing voice this child’s ears have ever heard; the voice I can hear almost as clearly as if she were still here.
“My beautiful daughter,” she says. I know that’s what she would say and how she’d say it. I can hardly remember her addressing me in any other way.
“My mama!” I’d softly cry to her!
Gently, consoling me, “I’m here, my love.”
Weeping, I would say, “Mama, it’s your birthday! Heaven is celebrating you today, right?”
Then with that big ole smile you can hear as well as see…
“Well…Up here, we celebrate me on April 18, earth time. That’s the day I was born here.”
She already has me smiling!
“I know, Mama! That was such a wonderful day for you, wasn’t it? I bet you had an enormous crowd gathered to welcome you home. I tried to tell you how very many lives you had touched throughout your whole life.”
Shaking her head…
“Front and center was all I could see, child…
JESUS…
Shining like the sun!
I fell into Him.
I’ve never been embraced like that before. I was enveloped into purest love.
And instantaneously, I knew…
I am home.
But nothing could have ever prepared me for HIM.”
Smiling a knowing smile…
“You are home, aren’t you Mama? Nothing comforts my aching heart as much as that.
Still… I miss you, Mama.
I didn’t want you to go.
I still don’t want you to be gone.”
“Don’t be silly, honey. I always told you that death is just another step of life. You keep on marching. We’ll be together again soon.”
“I’m marching, Mama.
You are so happy, aren’t you?”
With that I sensed that something profound was coming…
Something that may be beyond my comprehension…
And in her typical Mama way she says, “Happy, honey?
Well…
I’m not old anymore!
And you should see my hair!”
Now I’m laughing through my tears. “You actually like your hair now, Mama!?”
“Oh, it’s beautiful! Thick and wavy like it was when I was young. And it shines! I always wanted my hair to shine like yours…
But I don’t have to use that purple stuff that you use!”
Smiling and loving her so much, “You always looked so pretty, Mama. Everybody thought so.
“I gave your hearing aids to Daddy, Mama. Is that OK?”
“Oh! I don’t care. If that makes you happy, honey. I don’t need those old things anymore!
Oh! honey, if you could hear and see and touch and smell and taste the things my senses are experiencing so acutely ….
Why, I can see other galaxies without my glasses!”
“Mama, you’re cracking me up!”
“No!!! I really can!!!”
“OK, Mama.
I wear your dark glasses now. The feel of them on my face almost feels like I’m kissing you.
Tell me, Mama, did Jesus give you a car? I ask him to!”
“Yes! He did! And it flies!”
“Oh dear gracious Jehoshaphat, Mama! When did a car of yours NOT fly?”
Laughing out loud, “Well…
yeah, that’s true, but all I have to do is think of a place and it flies me there.”
“You wouldn’t exaggerate a little, now would you?”
“NO!!! I’m not exaggerating!”
“I guess I’d just have to be there, huh? Just don’t kill somebody up there, Mama!”
And now, we’re both rolling with laughter!
“OK… That I can promise you!
“Speaking of Jehoshaphat, I’ve met him! He has a great story to tell! Wishes he had ended his life as well as he started.
All of us here have stories of endless mercy and grace.”
“That is so amazing, Mama!
“Tell me…
what is Jesus like?”
“He’s like the sun.
He’s like the ocean.
He’s fearsome and completely gentle.
He’s like a lion.
He’s like a lamb.
When He speaks, his words rumble with the sound of thunder…
yet they soothe and give quietness to my soul.
My love, I tell you He fills all of Heaven.
Everywhere I turn, His presence permeates the air.
His goodness envelops everything. His glory shines through eternity.
I take in more of Him every day.
I’ll be learning more of what and who He is forever.
He’s everything, my love.
He’s…
just…
everything.”
“You sound happier than you’ve ever sounded to me, Mama.”
“Happy is a human term, my love; far too limited to tell you what I am.”
“Then speak to me in another tongue, Mother, and tell me what you are.”
And then… Off my Mother’s tongue, in the purest, most crystal like tones, soft music begins to seep forth from her lips.
It is clear that her chin no longer quivers when she sings….
Softly, at first, as though she is trying to spare my human heart from hearing more than it could bear…
…The music flowing from her now holds the power of rivers of water; water that forces me to my knees; water that is alive!
Crescendo after crescendo her voice begins to swell and it fills the universe.
It is majestic…
And it is pouring forth from the deepest places of her soul.
The words are heavenly words. The sounds are filled with Spirit. There’s splendor and light radiating from my Mother’s innermost being.
She is enveloped in glory…
More than I can take in with my finite senses.
All of Heaven begins to harmonize…
Angels lend their voices.
The music billows and rolls…
It rolls and billows!
It is becoming a more holy scene than I can dare to hear.
I want so desperately to keep listening…
But something in me knows that a natural human heart could not bear the full weight of its glory!
I am being prepared…
But I am not able yet.
These things are too wonderful for me…
I listen in breathless silence.
I yearn for the day…
Praises fill her being, the sounds of rapture overtake her soul, as all the things of earth grow dim…
Even her beloved child, begins to fade away.
I whisper, “Carry on, Mother.
Do not let me hinder your song.
Keep singing, Mother…
Don’t stop…”
And to think that I thought to wish her happiness today.
I know nothing.
Not yet…
But someday…